A Life of Deliberate Living

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

I took about two-and-a-half weeks away from life, the blog, and my regular routine to write more professional exams.

They were a brutal marathon, to say the least.

Even though I had family in the city I was scheduled to write the exams, I wanted to be by myself for a bit. I needed to get my head ‘in the zone’ for the battle ahead.

And to exhale after.

So I checked into an Airbnb for a couple days. (Seriously, I should begin a series on my Airbnb adventures. But just not today)

For the short time I was there, I was indoors studying most of the time. My interaction with the host – who was in another wing – was rather limited, and our longest chat was about the rather confused Winter/Spring weather.

(Like a disorientated ex-lover, sharply oscillating between letting go, with a bang of the door... or firmly clinging on, with the deepest wail)


As is with every Airbnb experience, Hosts and Clients alike are invited to provide reviews of each stay. At the end of my stay, I provided my review of the host, and a few nights back, I checked her review of me.

In addition to her review, I was (quite pleasantly) surprised to also receive my host’s private feedback to me that:

The question I have continued to ask myself is: what exactly did I do or say in my very limited interaction with her, that was deep enough to leave a positive lasting impression on her, reflective on coloured people as a whole?

The irony was that I was not particularly conscious of (and cannot exactly recollect) my actions or words during my short stay, especially not to the extent of evoking such strong (positive) reactions from my host

Which is normal, right? I mean... we just undertake our ‘normal’ behaviour(s), and speak our ‘normal’ words; quite oblivious of the impact on the next person, and how they are received by this other person.

This experience has imbued me with the humble realisation that the consequences of our actions (or omissions) may carry far greater significance than is immediately perceivable to us – the actors.

Perhaps, we should be a bit more conscious in our interactions with others; being sensitive of the reception of our words and our actions. We can learn and unlearn how we interact with people every day.

Our actions (or inactions) today may be the reason a door is opened (or shut) for someone else. And while prejudices are not encouraged, it is an unfortunate part of human nature that even when not acknowledged, prejudices often exists.

If only we were more aware of the impact our actions have, in the wider sphere of life, we would understand that we are all more interconnected than we even realise.

I am resolved now more than ever, to live life very deliberately, everyday. In choosing my words and my actions.

After all, I do not live in a cave, on an Island, all by myself. Surely, my words and actions will impact their recipient(s) in a certain way. 

To a great degree, it is up to me to ensure that such impact is positive.

In the now, I am thankful that my interaction with my host rubbed off positively.

Hopefully, it will be paid forward, and another girl who looks ‘just like me’ would be treated kindly. Because of the warm feelings I left in my trail.

I can smile and say "Look Mama, I did one for the team. And it felt good". 😊



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Photocredits: www.unsplashed.com

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  1. So proud of you as well. I am a big promoter of intentional living - ensuring that every action leaves a lasting impression that make the path better for those coming behind me. Keep up the great work.... You have so much more than you can imagine

  2. You don't know the many people you're inspiring by just being You. Me inclusive. Keeping being you, we love you laidat.