For Rebecca.

Thursday, February 01, 2018

I was done with my Monday-night ritual; preparing the first draft of my post for Wednesday.

It was supposed to be something rather mundane; about thick girls (like me), and their life ‘challenges’.

Then I got the news: “She is dead”.

Time stopped.

I found myself falling through many shades of confusion. About how to begin grieving the death of someone, who, to all intents and purposes, still seemed very alive to me.

How do you mourn the death of Love?

Does Kindness die?

I had things to catch up on, with her... She who had mastered the art of “Fine”.

For even in the deepest depths of pain, and the clutches of despair, if you sought how she was doing, her sing-song voice would respond with a smile: “I am fiiiiiiiiine!”

She drew the “Fine”. Like fine Okro.

It felt sweet, and if you did not dig deeper, you would be deceived that all was “fine”.

Past tense does not suit you, Anti Ka.

(We called call her that too… it has its origin in a funny story).

‘Anti Ka’.

Mother, Sister, Daughter.


Do you understand calm, quiet strength? For this is what she will always symbolize.

When the world seemed too devoid of hearts to comprehend my pain, hers was the heart I found kind warmth.

Devoid of judgment or unkindness, or of cunningness or malevolent expectations.

She gave warmth and strength and kindness… in her quiet gentle way.

To find consolation is to look to the words of the Holy Book: to mourn in the faith that there will be an afterlife, in which we shall all be part of, having run our race herein.

It is still too surreal, to speak of her in the past tense. Surely, this embodies the fatal reality: that one day, we all shall be spoken of in the past tense.

Here this day, gone the next.

Remind me: what is it we all are fighting for again??

There is not enough time to procrastinate good plans, bear a grudge, or wonder what the world thinks.

Go about each day, as if it were your last. Who knows… this day really could be your last.

Amidst the hustle for the benjamins, pause to ask, “If When I leave this earth, what will I be remembered for?”

We all have our individual purpose here. Waste no time in bringing yours to fruition. And if you are not sure what your purpose is, ask your maker.

You may not be able to change the world by yourself. But you can play your part in making it a better place, while you yet have life in you.

You do not have forever; make each day count.

Be kind. Be great. Be good.

Our aim every waking day, should be to positively impact the lives of the people around us, and use the air we have breathing through our nostrils for the greater good.

For Rebecca, I say, je nke oma.

Yours is an eternity of rest.

In blissful Peace.


Post-script.: This was not supposed to be the first post of February.
But… life happens. Or, in this case, Death.

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  1. Be strong Big Sis... May her soul rest in peace, Amen

  2. Fr. Uche Mario EgbunonuSaturday, February 03, 2018

    I've always found consolation in this traditional Gaelic blessing. This is for Anti Ka:
    'May the road rise up to meet you.
    May the wind be always at your back.
    May the sun shine warm upon your face;
    the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
    may God hold you in the palm of His hand.'

  3. Ndo. I feel her warmth in your words. Perhaps there is comfort in believing that she is indeed "fiiiiiiiiine" now

  4. Thanks so much for honouring my sister with these kind words! I'm eternally grateful.

  5. .....I have finally met you, on your turf, in your forte, in your... you, and I love you! Our friend has tried severally to introduce you to me, but it has not stuck, however, after today,I hope to call you by your name, not Meg, but Chinelo! Meg could bring me back to where I began from, so let's stay with Chinelo. Thank you very much for the beautiful piece you wrote on Antika. Very nice! And your TedX ? What was that? You were simply wonderful- believe me when I say, "I'm hooked". I can hardly wait to read every other thing you have written or spoken. Proud of you girl-feminist,(rme!-for rolling my eyes). Keep it up! You just won you a fan. Pst S!

  6. Meg,thank you for honouring my daddy's sister in death.You write well,you choose your words careful.Keep the good work Nne

  7. Sorry for the loss. God grant you and your family strength especially at this time. Ndo.

  8. Life is always full of surprises and those surprises hit us at the most odd times... May her soul continue to rest in the Lord.

    Be strong, be courageous and even as you mourn, do so with hope of joining her and our maker in eternity.
    God knows best. It is well my darling.

  9. Rest in Peace Aunty Ka. She knew that being fineeee transcended the physical. I can tell she was/is a beautiful soul from what you wrote. Accept my condolences sis.

  10. Rest in Peace Aunty Ka. She knew that being fineeee transcended the physical. I can tell she was/is a beautiful soul from what you wrote. Accept my condolences sis.