You Must Not Stay

Sunday, May 14, 2017

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You are not a bag; built for punching. You are not a gong; constructed for hitting. You are not clay or some other element for a potter’s work; set aside to be pummeled and pummeled into or out of shape.

Some of us are not married. Some may never be. Some who were, are no longer married. Why? (You ask).

Because Marriage (or the absence of thereof) does not signal life and death.

You must not stay.

Cry out. Get out.

The flowers and chocolates and diamonds and Brazilian weaves are but palliatives to make you forget the premium God, or the Universe (or whatever else it is you believe in) placed on your head at your creation. When the euphoria is over, reality will hit you right back in the face - all pun intended.

You must not stay.

It is a lie; it is not normal. It is a falsehood that “all men hit their wives”. We have fathers who did not hit our mothers. We have brothers who do not hit their wives. There is nothing normal about violence in a place where you should only find succor, love and strength. There is nothing normal about a violent marriage or relationship.

You must not stay.

It is not “our African Culture”… who sold you that lie?? It is no sane person’s culture. It is frank madness for a full-grown human to assault another full-grown human with whom they are supposed to share a bond. It is NOT “our Culture”.

Please stop.

They who commend you to “sit still” in the spirit of “for better for worse” do not mean you well… or do you not see it? If he will change, it must not be in regret of the light he snuffed off you. Get out, while there is a getting out to be gotten.

You deserve sanity. You deserve life. Do you not see... that you deserve much more?

You must not stay.

There is no point to be made. It is no competition. You will not be crowned with a halo. You will not receive a Nobel Laurel, or a national medal for your ‘patience’ and hope for a (non-existent) “better tomorrow”… while you rock colours of black and blue and red, as scars of long-suffering littered all over your battered skin.

For the sake of your children, born and unborn. For the sake of your mother’s egg and your father’s seed, combined to birth you. For the sake of the purpose for which you were placed on earth, which should not be cut-short prematurely….

You Must Not Stay.

Rest in peace Karabo… and all the others untold, who could not make it into a hashtag.

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  1. There should be strong laws against domestic violence. Ladies need to realise that if a man hit you once he'd hit you again. Run when you're still alive and still can.