The Curse of double standards (Part 3): 'Polygamy' vs. 'Promiscuity'

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

My visual expression of "Really???"... in my deepest Igbo-girl accent

My daily schedule is crazy as a bat.

I have a full-time Law career, which I (generally) revel in. My 'relaxing'/sleep hours is what I utilise to blog. Expectedly, mainstream entertainment for me has become near-extinct. 

(Yada-yada ... whine-whine. Who send you??)

So I find myself scheduling days in between months to take a break from it all, and binge on Grey's Anatomy and GoT (I can’t wait for April!). In the meantime... I get my little ‘doses’ of entertainment from Facebook.

And Zuckerville did not disappoint me last week.

A Facebook acquaintance - Nkechi Bianze - literally sparked a mini-revolution, via a post on her wall, (basically) re-enacting in writing Beyonce's "If I were a boy" video:

Credits: Nkechi Bianze's Facebook wall.

Her post spun off other similar tongue-in-cheek posts. Like this one...

Credits: Kate Halim’s Facebook wall.

And this one...
Credits: Kate Halim’s Facebook wall.

Even yours truly joined in the party:

Credits: Yours truly's Facebook wall.

And e-Wars were fought!

One fact was clear though, by the end of the week: a lot of folks had either slept through literature class, or opted for Geography, thus missing the complete irony in and cheekiness of all the posts. Which would explain the comments 'advising' women to "change their evil ways".

(Udonminit?? Kikikiki!!)

Asides the rib-cracking humour of the posts (that is… if you get it) and their accompanying comments however, do we see the plain nonsense these posts ridicule??

How we naturally make excuses for the male folk, blaming a man's roving eye on biology, nature, religion, culture.... anything other than the human being in question. How we are wont to make him out as the innocent victim, 'caught' and 'carried' by supernatural-sirens, hence hanging the noose on the (infamous) "other woman".

Citing our religious and cultural defences as to why women should be understanding of his un-helpable state. "Men are polygamous animals" we argue. His 'itch' is beyond his control. The woman should work harder to keep him. And if all reason fails... simply 'War-Room' your home.

The End.

Ok... flip the coin. See? How silly it sounds??

Oh no! If a woman did that, she is promiscuous.


(*rolls eyes*)

My point is not in any way to promote unfaithfulness. I believe in commitment, and have learnt that love is not just a feeling. It requires serious sacrifices. Similar to seeing okro soup being served with, ‘roundabout’ and shaki, but reigning in your 'long-throat', remembering that your favoured Abacha waits for you at home.

(Oh Abacha! How I love thee!!)

The commitment however should be expected of both sexes equally. If 'looking outside' by one gender would be termed promiscuous, same should go for the other. After all, no gender was born with any tag tied to their ankle at birth.

Both parties in a relationship have equal responsibility to making it work. Neither should leave the slack for the other, and hide under the covering of cultural and religious stereotypes, in enforcing double standards.

If it is not good for the hen, it is not good for the cock. If the gander cannot eat coconut rice outside, the goose should not eat gbegiri outside too.

Do you understand???



P.s.: I still believe literature should be made compulsory in Nigerian Secondary schools. The ability to appreciate tongue-in-cheek sarcasm and irony is not one borne of magical powers.

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  1. Emm...

    Nne, you have done noble. I never expected a deviation from the trend.

    Commitments are what keeps relationships alive. We stay loyal not because it always rosy but because even in the storms that come, we learn more.

    This is not an excuse for infidelity though.


    I second your call for literature to be taught just as I also advocate that History be taught alongside too.

    Jisike Nnem.

    You always make for an interesting read.

  2. Literature compulsory? Then i would always fail a course.

    1. Lol!! That's the reason exactly it should be compulsory... so you don't fail at it.

  3. Hello big sis, please put up a write up about the consequences of parental influences in marriages. Now what do i mean, people should be allowed to marry who they love and not the state and capital of the person brought for introduction.

    And based on cheating, you cant stop a woman whose true love is outside there. She will cheat and cheat again even if shes caught.

    1. Hmmm... maybe we'll work together on that article.. yeah??

  4. Smiles...
    O I can't help but smile.
    I always think men to be the super cheats but little did I know...
    Nice one Darlyn..

  5. Most of the men fell for it..🤗😂

  6. Yea... Love should be a mutual thing not leaving a party to suffer while the other enjoy all d benefits both inside and out.

  7. Yea... Love should be a mutual thing not leaving a party to suffer while the other enjoy all d benefits both inside and out.

  8. Replies
    1. Thank you for reading too... do you follow us yet??

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  11. Hmmm schineel this new site rocks. Nice fonts and the background looks like am reading a book.
    P.s thank you for not replying ��

  12. I dont have any problem with my woman cheating but me not sha catch you or have the faintest hint, if not, issallova. I cannot be sharing my ponmo with random people, HIV/STD is real.

    1. Awesome! But make sure it applies to you too!! :)