The Curse of double standards (Part 3): 'Polygamy' vs. 'Promiscuity'
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
My daily schedule is crazy as a bat.
I have a full-time Law career, which I (generally) revel in. My 'relaxing'/sleep hours is what I utilise to blog. Expectedly, mainstream entertainment for me has become near-extinct.
(Yada-yada ... whine-whine. Who send you??)
So I find myself scheduling days in between months to take a break from it all, and binge on Grey's Anatomy and GoT (I can’t wait for April!). In the meantime... I get my little ‘doses’ of entertainment from Facebook.
And Zuckerville did not disappoint me last week.
A Facebook acquaintance - Nkechi Bianze - literally sparked a mini-revolution, via a post on her wall, (basically) re-enacting in writing Beyonce's "If I were a boy" video:
Her post spun off other similar tongue-in-cheek posts. Like this one...
And this one...
And e-Wars were fought!
One fact was clear though, by the end of the week: a lot of folks had either slept through literature class, or opted for Geography, thus missing the complete irony in and cheekiness of all the posts. Which would explain the comments 'advising' women to "change their evil ways".
Asides the rib-cracking humour of the posts (that is… if you get it) and their accompanying comments however, do we see the plain nonsense these posts ridicule??
How we naturally make excuses for the male folk, blaming a man's roving eye on biology, nature, religion, culture.... anything other than the human being in question. How we are wont to make him out as the innocent victim, 'caught' and 'carried' by supernatural-sirens, hence hanging the noose on the (infamous) "other woman".
Citing our religious and cultural defences as to why women should be understanding of his un-helpable state. "Men are polygamous animals" we argue. His 'itch' is beyond his control. The woman should work harder to keep him. And if all reason fails... simply 'War-Room' your home.
Ok... flip the coin. See? How silly it sounds??
Oh no! If a woman did that, she is promiscuous.
My point is not in any way to promote unfaithfulness. I believe in commitment, and have learnt that love is not just a feeling. It requires serious sacrifices. Similar to seeing okro soup being served with, ‘roundabout’ and shaki, but reigning in your 'long-throat', remembering that your favoured Abacha waits for you at home.
(Oh Abacha! How I love thee!!)
The commitment however should be expected of both sexes equally. If 'looking outside' by one gender would be termed promiscuous, same should go for the other. After all, no gender was born with any tag tied to their ankle at birth.
Both parties in a relationship have equal responsibility to making it work. Neither should leave the slack for the other, and hide under the covering of cultural and religious stereotypes, in enforcing double standards.
If it is not good for the hen, it is not good for the cock. If the gander cannot eat coconut rice outside, the goose should not eat gbegiri outside too.
Do you understand???
P.s.: I still believe literature should be made compulsory in Nigerian Secondary schools. The ability to appreciate tongue-in-cheek sarcasm and irony is not one borne of magical powers.