“Loan” is Loan; “Dash” is Dash. Choose one.

Friday, August 26, 2016

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A long, long time ago, when I was serving my fatherland, an acquittance approached me, and asked for a little loan. Really minuscule. So tiny, I can't even disclose the amount.

She gave timelines for payback within the week. She never paid back. I forgot.

Months later, we ran into each other and I asked for the money I had lent her. She replied laughingly: “That one na loan..abi na dash??” She laughed it off, and went away.

I was too embarrassed and a tad bit shocked to ask for us to go back memory lane. I left it.

Like I said, that was a long, long time ago.

This day, this age… if she (or anyone) approached me for a loan, she would not get off not paying back that easy. She would not get off at all.

Why?

Because I have now learnt that the concept of borrowing is an integrity issue. I will not be a party to helping her, or anyone diminish their integrity.

(Open your ear)

I have learnt that integrity is at the core of who we as humans are; the core of our relationships. It is due to a lack of integrity that nations collapse, and that societies crumble. That the persons entrusted with a common wealth plunder it for their own gain, to the detriment of the populace as a whole.

This decadence starts little by little, such as ‘borrowing’ from a person, and manipulating them into thinking you gave them for free. Making them feel bad for something you gave your word to return.

How?

Let me explain how it works.

Everyone - consciously or subconsciously - has an ‘integrity metre’ by which they measure everyone else in the society. Even nations have integrity metres for Nations.

It is by this metre a person who is who approached by anther person seeking her/his help is adjudged and measured. Thus, if person A approaches person B, and asks person B to shift her/his position, to inconvenience herself/himself temporarily for the benefit of Person A, consciously or subconsciously, person B would run Person A up by the intergrity metre.

“How do I know s/he is saying the truth?”
“How am I sure s/he can pay back as at when due?”
“Am I sure they can even pay back?”

The decision making may take as long as a week, to as short as a split-second. But in that split-second, Person B has ran Person A past her/his intergrity metre, and decided whether or not the oblige the request.

In giving the loan, person A is saying that “I have sized you vis-à-vis my intergrity metre for you, and you rank ok. I can give you this loan, knowing you will keep your word, and pay back as at when due”.

So when payment is not made as at when due, or the Creditor is not duly approached and notified ahead of time of prevailing circumstances rendering the payment impossible as at when due, what the Borrower has done is that the Creditor begins to doubt the veracity of the metre for that Borrower, and in some cases, for even future borrowers.

(Am I making sense? I hope so)

Another story:

I had this other friend, whom I also look up to as a sister. She had some money problems and needed to pay for a place. She asked me to give her a particular sum, stating that she did not know if or when/whether she would be able to pay, because her condition was quite bad.

That there is the definition of Intergrity. I gave her the money, and my respect for her has gone to a different level.

Why?

Because rather than be ‘smart’ as a large number of our populace would be and collect the loan under the false pretence of having the means to pay back; rather than begin the annoying hide and seek game of ‘pay me back…No!’, she sacrificed her pride to ask for a grant.

Does it mean there are no unforeseen circumstances in which one is unable to pay back?

No. But what this is saying is that rather than wait for the Creditor to ask you for the loan, before agreed timelines, make sure you notify them of your inability to meet up with payment as agreed. More importantly, if you have no intention of paying back, do not couch the request as a loan. Simply ask for it.

Above all … if you really do not NEED the object of the loan; if it is something you could save for or do without, you honestly shouldn't take it.

Save your integrity metre for the rainy day.

Paz,


Meg.



P.s. If you owe me money and have not paid, this is neither about you nor the loan. It is one of those things that crawl into your head when 30,000 feet above the ground, and the inflight entertainment really sucks.

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5 comments

  1. Hahahahahaahaa....my crazy barrister friend. Hope you've seen the case i filled against a name witheld Network provider that defrauded me.?

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  2. Lool. How you infuse humour into your articles/post is what amuses me the most and it makes it pleasurable to read. Loan is Loan....Grant is Grant.. People need to know this. Me inclusive. Sometime in the past, I've defaulted in my loan payment but it's usually due to circumstances beyond ones control and I believe it's same for everybody. It is necessary to keep the loaner(the giver of the loan.. lol) in the know about not being able to pay up a loan as promised and reschedule another time to pay up. Very important.

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